Wale Denx

Presido’s cult

I have an observation and it has to do with our Presido. It appears that each time the Presido makes an appointment; he initiates the appointee into a cult as well.

Just look at the imbroglio between the SINators and the Presido’s appointees like the EFCC acting boss, Ibrahim Magu; Comptroller General of Customs, Hameed Ali; and the grasscutting Secretary to the Government of Federation, Babachir Lawal, to get the drift. They all have two things in common- arrogance and stubbornness.

You see, to be a member of the cult, you have to be nearly as stubborn as the Presido. Without that, no membership card for you. And you have to admit that Ali, Magu and Lawal fit the bill.

“My priority is to fight corruption. My confirmation has not changed anything. We have always been on duty I will work until the last day whether confirmation or no confirmation,” Magu had said.

Magu doesn’t think he needs the SINators’ confirmation while Ali thinks he is bigger than Nigeria’s legislative arm of government. How unfortunate!

And what is even more unfortunate is that some Nigerians think that the SINators should ignore the report of the DSS (whose job it is to investigate such appointees) that described Magu as unfit for the job of the EFCC boss. Think for a minute. Will it set a good precedence or a bad one if SINators choose to ignore reports indicting government appointees?


When I was a kid, I always had questions to ask adults –like how did God come into existence? Do I need to mention that they often had no answers to my questions? So I thought adults must be dumb.

But now that I’m an adult, I have come to realise that life is actually full of mysteries. For instance, why does every ‘big person’ standing trial for corruption in Nigeria always require treatment abroad for a serious ailment?

Eavesdropper cannot think of anyone who doesn’t get ill after being accused of putting their hands in the cookie jar.

You remember Andrew Yakubu, the man that kept $9,772,800 and £74,000, which amounted to about N3bn, in a house in Kaduna. Yes, that’s him.

His wife, Sarah, told the court that her husband was diagnosed of “prostrate condition which may be terminal if not properly managed” and that he might die if not released from custody to enable him to attend to his health.

“I have consistently appealed to men and officers of the first respondent (EFCC) for the release of my husband because he is in excruciating pains and stands the risk of losing his life,” she had said.

And eavesdropper went, “ehn-ehn, really!”

But seriously, like your tataafo, have you ever wondered why everyone trying to defend corruption allegations in the country has to somehow come down with a serious ailment? I guess the answer to the question may remain elusive.

The apostle and the stripper

Actually, there are many answers that we may never get, like is it true that this pastor is sleeping with that choir member or is it true that Apostle Johnson Suleman was licking a Canada-based Nigerian stripper, Stephanie Otobo, from the feet up? Do pastors also love honey pots? There are always so many questions begging for answers.

The last two weeks must have been tough for Apostle Johnson Suleman with the allegations made by the stripper, but eavesdropper will not be quick to jump to conclusions like some others.

Although, it appears that the pastor and the lady knew each other pretty well, your tataafo will still be careful. Besides, his church members, who should have migraine over the matter should the allegations be true, have pledged loyalty to him, so why should your tataafo give himself headache over an issue that doesn’t concern him?

And the last time I checked, adultery is not a criminal offence under our laws while blackmail is, so it is the woman that could end up eating beans in cell if found to be guilty of blackmail.

Well, maybe if Suleman was living in the North, where penal code is in place, things could get ugly for him if his marriage was contracted under customary law. But mba, Suleman lives in the Southern part of the country, where adultery is only considered as a reasonable ground for the dissolution of marriage. And as things stand, the wife also stands with her husband.

So what is eavesdropper’s point? Let’s not hang Suleman yet because even if he is guilty of committing adultery (which eavesdropper is not saying he is), it is not a criminal offence, so he can’t be said to be a criminal.

And if he is guilty, it will also not be surprising as I have a deep mistrust for anyone who calls himself a man of God, anyway. Eavesdropper has realised early enough that many of them are nothing but hypocrites.

So at worst, it will only mean that Suleman is merely following in the footsteps of other famous pastors.

Abi, have you quickly forgotten about the popular Ibadan pastor with tribal marks, who many years ago, impregnated his secretary (well, as we heard) and even suggested that she terminate the pregnancy? However, we heard that he later tendered an apology to the church and everyone moved one.

Don’t forget about the yuppie celebrity COZA man, who promised to “release a robust reply to all the allegations” of adultery by two women.

It will be four years in August and the robust response, promised by the pastor, has yet to come. Maybe it had an accident on the way. Don’t fret, it might come by the time my great-great grand children are old and frail.

Eavesdropper’s verdict: Don’t be too quick to believe or condemn either the pastor or the stripper as man has been deceiving man since 201BC.

It is a running movie – The apostle and the stripper- and I will appeal that we all wait to see the end.

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